Three years ago I found myself sitting in my car in a parking lot on a Friday night. I knew I needed to get out of the car and go in but I was afraid. I was also desperate, and that night I let desperation win. I got out, walked across the parking lot and pulled the doors open. I was greeted by the distant sound of people singing. I made my way across the lobby, and into the sanctuary where I quietly slid into the back row. Before the first song ended I was fishing tissues out of my purse to try to stop the flow of tears. For the first time in a long time I felt safe.
My girls once accused me of being the worst when it came to accepting a compliment. They'd say something like, "Mom, you look pretty today. " I'd say, "I'm really having a bad hair day. " Some might say that I was just being humble. But I wasn’t.
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This morning as I drove into work, I dropped by husband off at work (he is a Rogers postal carrier) and drove into my office. As usual, I turned on the radio to KLRC. Within moments, "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson came on. This song touched my heart and really connected with me. My mother was diagnosed with cancer just weeks before my wedding this past Labor Day, and since we first learned how serious her condition was in August, we've seen her really struggle with chemo and health conditions that have just plagued her body. Through it all, we've been able to keep our faith in our Lord. Even when I think about all that she's gone through, and all that is to come, I don't know how my mother stays faithful and hasn't become bitter. She has a long, long way to go, and we've had one setback after another. She was originally diagnosed with a ruptured appendix and the doctor refused to remove it for seven weeks. He had no idea that the appendix was full of a rare cancer and during those seven brutal weeks of drain tubes, the cancer was seeding in her colon and lymph nodes.
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Please pray with me that God will make a way for us the buy groceries and to give our boys a good Christmas and Birthday. We used to have food stamps but that ended a few months ago and we're trying hard to make it in our own but I can't remember the last time I went and bought what I wanted from the grocery store. My kids never go hungry and I always find a way to make us a good dinner but beans, chili, taco soup is getting old. I know I'm complaining but I just need support. My husband is the only one working now and makes enough to pay our bills and we have about $150 left to provide for 6 people for 2 weeks and that's before groceries! I'm ashamed and embarrassed and never thought life would be like this. I get discouraged but I know God will always make a way.
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Please pray for my family. We have been facing quite a bit of disappointment lately. I am trying to keep spirits up around my house, but some of my family members are starting to feel forgotten by God. Please ask God to give me the words to help my family see that God is holding us. Thank you.
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