In my Bible between the Old and New Testament is one single sheet of tissue-thin blank paper. One page. I can flip past it in the blink of an eye, which is deceptive, because that single sheet of empty paper represents 400 years of silence. 400 years of wondering. 400 years of questions.
Three years ago I found myself sitting in my car in a parking lot on a Friday night. I knew I needed to get out of the car and go in but I was afraid. I was also desperate, and that night I let desperation win.
The ideal. It’s what we all long for, what we all plan for. We dream of falling in love with the ideal person and having the ideal marriage, with 2. 5 ideal kids and an ideal golden retriever, living in an ideal home with an ideal picket fence and ideal car parked in the drive way.
Jesus and Peter had many encounters involving water, boats, and questions. “Will you follow me?” Mark 1:17 “Do you trust me?” Matthew 14:29 “Do you love me” John 21:17 Three questions. Three encounters. Three defining moments in Peter’s life.
I was driving down I49 a week ago having a single-mom moment, which basically means I was having a full-fledged meltdown. I was talking to Jesus about all the "stuff".
“I agree that marriage it hard, and a good marriage is worth it. However, the hardest thing I've ever done isn't marriage. The hardest thing I've ever done was a long, ugly, extremely messy divorce and the unhealthy, dysfunctional co-parenting relationship I have with their dad.
“There are no small parts, only small actors. ” Constantin Stanislavski I’ve been on both the receiving and giving end of that line. As a director I’ve said those words to many students who just found out they didn’t get cast as the lead and are feeling disappointment.
“I am lonely, yet not everybody will do. I don’t know why, some people fill the gaps and others emphasize my loneliness. ” ― Anaïs Nin .
Humanly speaking, there is no way Ruth will come home this month. You see, there is a long list of things that should take months to play out, that have to come together in literally a matter of days. BUT, yesterday God.
Can I be honest? It’s been a rough week. One of those “seriously if one more thing…” kind of weeks. It started out pretty subtle. A minor annoyance here, an unwanted thought there, but has continued to escalate to the point of a full out break-down with an ugly cry last night.